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Lawgiver on the Mount of Balls

June 7, 2014

And lo, the children of Facebook arrived at Mount Sinai.

And in the morning of the third blogpost, there were thunders and lightnings, and a thick cloud upon the mount, and the voice of the trumpet exceeding loud. And the people assembled at the base of the mount.

After the Cat came down upon the mount, Chris went up, briefly, before returning to prepare the people. And it was then that Balls spoke to the multitude, the words of the new covenant, even ten new commandments.

But the people were afraid to hear more, and moved afar off, even though Chris told them to fear not. Nevertheless, he drew near the thick darkness, where the presence of the Cat was,to hear the additional statutes and judgements, all which he wrote, in the Notebook of the covenant.

Yea verily I say unto thee, that it came to pass, next morning that Chris read it aloud to the people; and they agreed to be obedient, and do all that the almighty Cat had said.

And so it was, that Chris escorted a select group consisting of all the cats, and seventy of the elders of Facebook to a location on the mount where they worshipped afar off, and there, they saw the Cat of Facebook, above, a paved work, like clear sapphire stone.

And the Cat said unto Chris, “Come up to me into the mount, and be there: and I will give unto thee tablets of HTML, and a law, and commandments which I have inscribed with this claw; that thou mayest teach them.” And Chris rose up, and with his minister went up into the mount of Balls.

The mount was covered by the cloud for six days. And on the seventh day, Chris went into its midst and remained in the mount forty days and forty nights, whereafter he said; “the Cat has delivered unto me two tablets of HTML written with the claw of Balls; and on them was inscribed, according to all the words, which the Cat spake in the mount, out of the midst of the fire, in the day of the assembly.”

But before the full forty days expired, the children of Facebook, collectively decided that something had happened to Chris, and so compelled his bro’ to fashion a golden calf. And he built an altar before it. And the people worshipped the calf.

And so after the full forty days, Chris and Jehoshua the spy, came down from the mountain with a dosette of tablets of HTML. And it came to pass, as soon as he came nigh unto the camp, that he saw the calf, and the dancing; and Chris’ anger waxed hot, and he cast the tablets out of his hands, and he brake them beneath the mount.

So the Cat told Chris, “Hew thee two tablets of HTML like unto the first: and I will write upon these tablets the words that were in the first tablets, which thou brakest and I will give them unto you.”

And it came to pass that the mighty Cat gave them unto Chris, whereupon he placed them in the ark of the new Testimony, alongside his bro’s rod, a jar of manna, and the first Torah scroll, so that they might be told to the younger generation about to enter a ‘Promised Land’

Behold; the new Decalogue.

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